Nec temere nec timide
(Family motto)

Neither rashly nor timidly

(pron = neck TEH-meh-reh neck TIH-mih-deh)

Comment: This appears as a part of several family mottoes. The word “temere”
can mean several things in addition to “rashly”: thoughtlessly, by chance,
without cause, at random.

The idea here is an implied imperative: don’ do anything in a thoughtless, rash
way, but on the other hand, when you begin to do something, don’t walk into it
full of self-doubt and second guessing yourself either. Wrapped up in these
four words is an admonition to self-reflecting and really, self-knowledge and
self-acceptance.

We’ve all done things rashly, and if you are like me, most often regretted it
later. I also spent much of my young adult life struggling with a timidity
(another word for fear) that was rooted in a lack of self-confidence. It is
simple and agonizing misery to enter into everything that one does worried and
afraid, and it always affects the outcome of the thing one is doing. I have
also come to appreciate how much fun spontaneity can be (rashness without the
attitude), and how helpful care for details can be (timidity without the
neuroses). And this is an ever changing rhythm that, on any day, can just
become attitude and neuroses again!

Somewhere, within ourselves, there is a rhythm, a dance, a melody, verse and art
that can only be expressed with the combination of highs and lows, of
spontaneity and specificity. Before we get there, though, we have to see who
we are, really, and accept that. I think, finally, that both rashness and
timidity can be two different responses to self-hatred.